I noticed today a tiny baby spider floating delicately on the room's air currents. It's transparent perfect little body glided carefree in front of my eyes, legs outstretched as if to say "Look at me! I'm alive!" A miracle of life clapped firmly between two hands.
Looking up, I soon found about twenty more miracles waiting to die. Do you know what baby spiders mean? It means spiders are having sex in my apartment. I will not stand for it.
I decided that rather than lean up and thumb them down individually one by one I would simply get the can of raid. That's what cans of spray are for, right? That's right. They are for spraying an area. An infestation. I was congratulating myself on my fast thinking ("My god! Nobody has ever thought to use spray before on more than on bug at a time!") looking up wide-eyed and blissfully spritzing the ceiling.
3 minutes later, as Eli read the warnings on the can and I flushed the stinging poison from my eyes, it became apparent that I am a blithering moron.
The babies, having begun to die, all slowly started to lose their grip on the ceiling. Tiny twitching bodies threaded down around me like rain. The rain of my own personal hell.
Hours later I'm still killing stragglers, but I am happy to announce that in my zeal, I sprayed so much raid onto a few of them that they have become stuck to the ceiling. I imagine they will still be there in a years time when the lease is up and we bail on this spidertopia.
It's a shame though. I really like the placement of this apartment.
In other news, I have created an ant farm. The ant farm, I have decided, shall have it's own blog. I have no ants in it yet, but I will keep you posted. There is now a link to the side so you can check up on my ants.
Yes. The hypocrisy of this entry is not lost on me.
4 comments:
Cindy, you have a fantastic sense of humour. I really enjoy reading your blog, and maybe you should look into some sort of creative writing outlet. You really have a talent. (well, more than just this particular one, you have lots.)
Take care,
Beatrice
Cin, I've had very little to laugh at these past few weeks but the past two entries have made me laugh so much. I miss you. Hope the change of scenery is just what you guys needed.
Lol! At once I cringe because I know how much you would have hated the spider rain, but then laugh because its all of your own doing. I would have done the same, tho if they were babies I might have gotten out the broom. Where are the parents tho?
Great post, look forward on reading about the ants and their doings :)
-A
Neen! You should come visit! Wild parrots, Neen! San Francisco has wild parrots!
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